FOOL THAT I AM

...the next time you decide to wait
so long to call me or stop by, i'm
going to throw a brick right thru
your living room window, got that?
now give your mother a hug so i can
go home now...
--mica raye godbold (micarayesboy's mama)

the cliche is that i've been busy as hell
but the reality is that life has only allowed me
to do the things i really need to do...writing is one

mostly, the writings don't get written
only scribblings in this piece of mine
that i call my mind. somehow
i finished a book & invited all my best friends;

many didn't
make it, but there they were, in the
thank-you's...i stopped eating chicken
again now that my winter thickness
pushing my weight to 197 is coming,
something no one seems to notice either
(i think i'm swoll, but my friends disagree).

my guy says he's going to stand me
next to his sister & call us "11"...i got it
the second time he said it...

i have cried a few times, missing jabari,
LeRoy, marvin, lewis, auntie gladys,
& now jason parker...laughter ensued
afterwards as i remember how much
love they had for everyone & how much
they loved to laugh. i wasn't working but
now i am...& still looking for a job that'll pay
me some mind & not fill my outlook calendar
with mindless objectives & goals of the insane...

i have fallen in love again
& won't be telling him anytime soon
(trying to save something for me);
...but i sho' do luv'em...

i've had a summer like no other;
grandma got a new hip & answers
"i'm tolerable" when i ask her
how she's doing;
i met lalah hathaway & gave her the
1st bootleg copy of "conjurin': donny hathaway & cairo"

been to
orlando, florida
atlanta, georgia
& plum branch, south carolina
with my frat brothers...

even attended a nice amount of
open bars & gallery openings & spent
mass amounts of time with friends in
from here & there & still feel like they
never left

& shots later/drinks later/drunken good times later
at
cookies tavern
bar louie
south loop club
the negro league cafe
or mostly with my favorite sister shannon as we poke fun at our other siblings

i'm uncle to sixteen nieces/nephews
(who are mostly crazier than cat-piss)
& a grand-uncle to ten grand-nieces/nephews

one of my nephew says his children (1- & 2-months respectively;
by 2 different women...DAY-UMN) need shoes...

where the hell are the infants walking?
do they know the way to spring already?

...so now i can see again...

see:

the heroin addicts & whores who frequent the greystone next door

the liquor store stopped selling my kind of camels (only unfiltered, youngblood!)

my children are growing up

my rent might go up

my thoughts, this moment, are going up

&

i am still growing up...loving the shit out of all it's showing me, too...

H.
9-14-2006