FOOL THAT I AM

for jabari r. rhodes-williams
1976-2006

my firstborn of baby blue & gold
has gone now, but the song is still
out there

you, me & carmen mcrae wailing
the final groaning-moan before the
the last piano key stroke

just a week to the day before the
lowering, i got the call when just
three days
before that, we were running
down dearborn

you: had azure in the headlock

promising to smack his face for
every puff i took of the camel light

he broke away & you chased us both
vowing in your black & white film
voice

give me the respect that i deserve!

just like you...

that was & is & five months
after you helped me to get through losing
the love of my life,

i have now lost the part
of you:

that answers your work phone

whose shoes go "tap-tap-tap-tap-tap"
up & down my hallway to music only
you hear

who would sing & dance with me in
checkout lines from borders to target

...wouldn't u like 2 fly...

we belted out while others behind us
wondered just how old we were as
the 5th dimension came roaring out
our mouths...

the equalizer, i named you
cuz after all the years prior
to us becoming bros,
you always had the power to
make everything with everyone
alright

alright...i will be

me: u know, i would love to see madame x have a reunion
him: they already did...didn't you hear they were at the house of blues.

me: get outta here!
him: for real...they opened for shirley bassey...

me: see, that's why i can't listen to you...how you gon' say that?
him: shirley bassey? god bless her!

i'm going to watch jackie's back a million times
& remember how funny it is to hear the uptown
divas given a roll call...which includes shirley bassey!

god bless her!?!

& bea arthur [insert laugh here]...

have you ever had a friend whom
no matter how soon you see them come
or go, you always know you are loved,
liked, thought about, cared for, listened to,
remembered

at all times?

you were the harmony when donny & roberta crooned:

you know the sun has surely made
it's final dawning...

& ruth, june, anita & bonnie wailed:
don't u know i get down on my knees...won'tchu pass the sugar please!

i cried, have cried and will probably cry again,
but not out of sadness...it's always going
to be you & me...

loving, tender
sweet as i remember
feeling fire in your heart
said we'd last forever
won-
der-
ful together...

in your heart....

there is no other
no loving sweeter
honey our love's growing deeper
& dee-
per
high as the rainbow
there's only u & me
& the way we feel

just us
just us

just us...just us

"just us"
sang by martha wash & izora armstead