Monday, November 07, 2005
i am:
tired as hell, but nowhere near home so sleeping isn't an option
trying to figure out just how much of my sanity i can hold on to in this neighborhood where the pimps & whores block my path into the liquor store
almost through with love...but not through enough to give up
a few years shy of my doctorate...but too scared to get up & leave chicago
really scared about leaving my family
not worried about what people say about me
constantly struggling to be the best man/father/brother/nephew/son i can be...it's hard as hell...really
in desperate need of an answer as to why labels really matter...for real
in agreement with brenda russell's claim of "in the thick of it...better get a grip & get it on!"
still tired after dancing all saturday night into sunday morning
hungry as hell
not that excited about the holidays...but i plan on being full
clearly in need of some intellectual stimulation outside of the hgtv network
still cleaning my house of my ex's remnants
still convinced i should live alone even if mr. right pops his invisible ass up
automatically turned off by people with color complexes
even more turned off by the "our kind of people" black folks
still trying to meet two of my father's children who live in the midwest
still working on my book
trying to cut back on smoking & drinking (mostly at the same time)
up late most nights reading & writing
a good man...though not always to myself
waiting on someone to teach me how to drive a stick-shift
excited about going to north carolina
nervous about going to north carolina
glad my plants are growing
trying to decide
happy about the birth of my grandnephew
cautious about being in love again
worried about my mother
constantly amazed, while not surprised, by what i see on the local news alone
going to go back to dance class
mostly in good spirits
not intrigued enough to answer "blocked," "unavailable," or "anonymous" phone calls
still moved by james baldwin's "just above my head"
going to go somewhere to eat...right now
leaving...
H.
11-7-2005
trying to figure out just how much of my sanity i can hold on to in this neighborhood where the pimps & whores block my path into the liquor store
almost through with love...but not through enough to give up
a few years shy of my doctorate...but too scared to get up & leave chicago
really scared about leaving my family
not worried about what people say about me
constantly struggling to be the best man/father/brother/nephew/son i can be...it's hard as hell...really
in desperate need of an answer as to why labels really matter...for real
in agreement with brenda russell's claim of "in the thick of it...better get a grip & get it on!"
still tired after dancing all saturday night into sunday morning
hungry as hell
not that excited about the holidays...but i plan on being full
clearly in need of some intellectual stimulation outside of the hgtv network
still cleaning my house of my ex's remnants
still convinced i should live alone even if mr. right pops his invisible ass up
automatically turned off by people with color complexes
even more turned off by the "our kind of people" black folks
still trying to meet two of my father's children who live in the midwest
still working on my book
trying to cut back on smoking & drinking (mostly at the same time)
up late most nights reading & writing
a good man...though not always to myself
waiting on someone to teach me how to drive a stick-shift
excited about going to north carolina
nervous about going to north carolina
glad my plants are growing
trying to decide
happy about the birth of my grandnephew
cautious about being in love again
worried about my mother
constantly amazed, while not surprised, by what i see on the local news alone
going to go back to dance class
mostly in good spirits
not intrigued enough to answer "blocked," "unavailable," or "anonymous" phone calls
still moved by james baldwin's "just above my head"
going to go somewhere to eat...right now
leaving...
H.
11-7-2005
# posted by Fool That I Am : 7:59 PM
Comments:
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Amen...about not being through enough with love to give up on it and on so many other things.
There is nothing wrong with living alone even with the arrival of Mr. Right. Love can transcend building walls.
...and with so many other things I can relate. The mind of the black man, so burdened, so powerful and so complex
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There is nothing wrong with living alone even with the arrival of Mr. Right. Love can transcend building walls.
...and with so many other things I can relate. The mind of the black man, so burdened, so powerful and so complex
# posted by 
: 10:04 AM
: 10:04 AM<< Home
