FOOL THAT I AM

for kyle long (1960-2005)

genes & blood didn't completely
relate us, as you were the older
brother who looked at me six years
ago & said

"here's my number & address...
come see me or call me, lil' brother"

his brothers & sisters were
mine & so we played this
dance of sorts where no one
really called or wrote or
stepped outside of comfort
zones & homes

& as brothers & sisters of
parents who didn't push the
envelope to have children
know one another because
relationships ended & pride
built the greatest walls of all

it is now i cry because the thirteen
plus years that separate you & i
stops here...

45

& phone calls ago i have learned
that 46 will exisit only in my mind
as will the subsequent years
that pass until we all meet again

because as brothers & sisters of
parents who didn't make sure
that we knew one another i now
have to create a memory of you
all my own

one where you are getting ready
for 46, 47...

& there are no walls between
you, my brother,
& i

rest & finally live

no tears/hymn sangin'