FOOL THAT I AM

C-Pusha got her condo (ALRIGHT!) & had a kick-ass, wine-drinkin' kickoff of the drunken times to come last Friday. Afterwards, I met up with a few other friends and somehow, porn got introduced into the evening. Porn is hilarious, yes. Others may not agree that some of the best comedy can be found in porn...but to those I say, "stop the stroking and get to laughing!"

Besides wanting to vomit at what I saw, for the most part, it was funny as hell as I watched a woman take three men at once...ending with money shots all over her face, which was well hid behind her cat woman-esque mask. As the explosions poured, you hear her say, "ooh, yeah...gimme that hot creamy rain!" Never heard skeet-ing referred to as such, but if she likes it, then she can have it!

Last week's "Niggeroki" was definitely one to remember. There were group songs, duets and some solos that put Kim Wayan's "When the Saints Go Marching In" rendition to shame. MD and I did a soulful rendition of "Don't Ask My Neighbors" which was full of falsettos from hell. It got so insane, the holding of notes not anywhere in the songs, that Pistachio Joe decided to put his bathroom break on hold just to witness our screeching first-hand. It was classic.

MD & the other half of the House of Love Bugz did "We Got Something In Common" and conjured up Whitney & Bobby (Bob-bay, Bob-bay!) and had us all on the floor, especially in the end when the word something was replaced with crack and then they started pushing and shoving one another.

Pistachio Joe took it there, for real, as he sang Jill Scott's ode to family...you have to hear him to believe it, because he finds notes and gets inside them (READ: massacres them in low to high pitch with unbelievable clarity). Erykah Badu's "Danger" had him walking around with the Love Bugz son on his hip as the intro clangs "...me and this baby gon' be here all night long..."

Good times, y'all!

But the funniest part of the evening wasn't the singing. One of our friends decided to bring his date with him--some guy who was definitely a character. This became clear when he asked one of my female friends, "You like hoodlums...them thugs?"

Then (yes, it got worse), as we all took a break in the back to smoke cigarettes, he decides to make a pass at another one of my friends. Like Flame in "Soul Plane" (did you just grind on me?), just takes it upon himself to make her love him or something like that, as pointed out in his continuous statements of "I like 'dem big girls...day-am!" and " Do you like them hoodlums...them thugs!" while giving her the R-Kelly treatment (yeah, that's right, I'm feeling on that ass, bitch).

Now, a little of that might've been exaggerated, but did I mention that the thug-for-hire-newly-released-from-sing-sing was there with one of my boys? I didn't? Well, here it is for everyone to see!

I'm mentally getting myself ready for Niggeroki Wednesday at the House of Love Bugz (and you know who you are)...I plan on being good and plastered then, and watch the music come rolling through the rushes like moses...plus, NYC Ray-Ray is home, so we're guaranteed to up the ante...maybe the Love Bugz will do another Tony, Toni, Tone' cover...cuz "Anniversary" will never ring the same in my ears after last week's production...