FOOL THAT I AM

a list compiled by pistachio joe & loose canon*

the heart ain't so smart
(all the time) like when:

• i rented you that car
• i answered that "blocked" call
• i went through your coat pockets (something my mama told me never to do: look)
• i met the boyfriend you had the same time while you were with me
• i had to cover the rent for three months
• i found out your real name
• i had sex with you, and i shouldn't have AND it was bad (that's what i get, right)
• i allowed your dusty, fat ass to wear my good clothes
• i had to use "rid" after your confession
• i heard you constantly mispronounce simple words (like "dog" & "cat")
• i believed that was just your friend
• i remembered why i took your card & never called
• i pretended i was sleep when you called back in 1995 & it still didn't work
• i decided to walk down your block from a different direction
• i gave you a book for xmas & you gave it back to me for my birthday
• i reminded you of my birthday & you forgot it (for 8 years straight)
• i saw you at the club after you claimed, "i'm too sick to do anything!"
• i saw you give that guy your number
• i heard your early morning cell phone conversations (all of them)
• i didn't realize that what a fool believes, he sees

(* note: these statements reflect those only of pistachio joe & loose canon. they are an actual pair of jokers who get together once every ten years to take snipes at those simple, though lost, moments of life when people knew they were on some dumb shit, but it just seemed more fun to do away with common sense. in 2015, they're scheduled to meet at a truck stop determined by readers of a yet-to-be-disclosed magazine from havana, illinois...stay tuned)